I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
