yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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