Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
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