He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
