Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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