I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My vagina is very pro this idea
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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