69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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