Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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