I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
