i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
