I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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