Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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