Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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