i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
