how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
