well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
