I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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