just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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