Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
