Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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