so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
