I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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