tell your sister to shave her snatch
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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