He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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