so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We have so much sex to catch up on
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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