dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
