he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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