Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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