Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
