When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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