no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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