I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
