i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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