How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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