the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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