My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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