conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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