So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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