is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
