This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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