she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
