...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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