That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
