You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Alive.
So much puke
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
