so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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