I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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