reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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