i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
