dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
