My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize