You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
