At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
