Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
