I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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