My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
