Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
