I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
