sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
