I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
