All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
