Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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