margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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